I was struck the other day with the realization that as a married man, certain privileges have been bestowed upon me. These are things that arguably many men wish they could enjoy, but only the most confident or the married may.
Here is just a small list of these things.
1) Baths: Before I got married I never would have taken a bath (much less a bubble bath) voluntarily, but you know what? Those things are awesome! And now if people find out I take baths, I can say Heather made me, or something not totally true like that.
2) Ordering Girly Drinks: They taste better and it spares us from having to order "the hardest stuff you got to put some hair on this chest." Chances are your wife really doesn't like hair on your chest.
3) Admitting that you enjoyed the 6 hour BBC version of Pride and Prejudice. I'M NOT SAYING I DID! But, er, I could understand if, you know, other people liked it...
4) Going to bed at 10pm on a Friday night. This one may be more universal that just to married men, but it seems to be a theme for married couples in general.
5) Going to Home Depot to buy parts to build your own light saber. (Granted this one wasn't me, but I'm sure you can guess who did it).
Well, gladly the only people that will read this are people that probably know all this stuff already, so it's not too embarrassing. But here are some things that CANNOT happen yet. These things we can do once we become dads.
1) Tuck your t-shirt into your jeans. Nope
2) Use phrases like "golly" and "swell."
3) Go to bed at 9pm on a Friday night.
Anyway. If any of you can think of any more, please, send them to me because I'd love to expand these lists. And for your viewing pleasure, a video of what my life has become (minus all the friends in the bathroom)
